Most parents choose to leave their estates equally to their children. But sometimes, parents intentionally choose to not leave anything to a child. There may be what the parents consider to be a legitimate reason: one child has been more financially successful than the others; not wanting a special needs child to lose government benefits; or not wanting to leave an inheritance to an irresponsible or drug-dependent child. Sometimes a parent wants to disinherit a child who is estranged from the family, or to use disinheritance as a way to get even and have the last word.
Regardless of the reason, disinheriting a child is hurtful, permanent, and will affect that child’s relationship with his or her siblings. The courts are full of siblings who sue each other over inheritances but even if they don’t sue, it is highly unlikely they will be having family dinners together. Money aside, there is symbolic meaning to receiving something from a parent’s estate.
Disinheriting a child may be shortsighted and even completely unnecessary. For example:
How we choose to include our children in our estate plans says a good deal about our values and faith. Not disinheriting a child who has caused grief and heartache can convey a message of love and forgiveness, while disinheriting a child, even for what seems to be good cause, can convey a lack of love, anger and resentment.
If you have previously disinherited a child and you have since reconciled, update your plan immediately. If your decision to disinherit a child is final, your attorney will know the best way to handle it. Consider telling your child that you are disinheriting him or her so it doesn’t come as a complete surprise. Explaining your reasons will allow for honest discussion, may help deter the child from blaming siblings later and may prevent a costly court battle.back to all posts